Cast: Marcy Albrecht, Sherry Hardin, Rae Spearling
Hollywood High is a shockingly inept
piece of teen sexploitation.
Even for a dubious genre like this, this movie reaches a level of
that would make even the most jaded exploitation filmmakers pause, and
subsequently resolve never to reach such a low point. Practically every
department in this movie - acting, writing, directing, etc. - is at the
very bottom of the barrel. It's the kind of movie that at the very
will assure you that in at least one instance you could have made a
movie than Hollywood ended up making.
Several days earlier, I had watched another 70s teen sex
romp titled Gas
Pump Girls. Now, though I didn't think it was good enough to
a recommendation to, it wasn't really terrible to watch at all. It did
at least have some sort of idea as to how a successful movie
this kind would work. Sure, Gas Pump Girls' objective
to show T&A, but they at least hung these elements around something
resembling a plot, involving a teenage girl getting her friends and
boyfriends to help her save her uncle's gas station from the rival
across the street. The characters had some individual personalities,
there was even some character development (when they hire a biker gang
to help out, their being given responsibility gets them to clean up
acts and become nice guys.) And it was directed in a lightweight
that made the whole proceedings very likable, helping it to make the
package fairly easy to take, even though it was silly and dumb at the
Hollywood High has none of those things.
it doesn't have anything resembling a plot. I'm serious - though there
are one or two extended vignettes, there's no real central story at
The movie concerns four teenage girls - Jan, Monica, Candy, and Bebe -
and their wanderings from place to place where they have sex with their
boyfriends, or use their bodies to get something they want, be it
during a test or favors from a movie star they admire. (Only about five
minutes of this movie happens at the title place, by the way.) So
of there being a plot to hang sex and nudity on, the movie is just
with showing various states of undress and sex. If I wanted no shred of
plot in a movie, I'd have rented a porno instead. With all the endless
scenes back-to-back of characters fooling around sexually in this
it gets boring pretty quickly, no matter how horny you are. The scenes
are not just endless in their quantity, but how they play out as well.
When the women wrestle around in the surf, it goes on for several
When they four women dance around with their boyfriends, it goes on for
several minutes. When all eight get on a blanket and make out, it goes
on for several minutes. When they get into a food fight with other
at a pizzeria, it goes on for several minutes. Such scenes only make
that there's nothing really happening at all, with
such as this being a desperate attempt to cover the fact up.
To make matters worse is the way these scenes are
directed. The cameraman
uses a hand-held camera and joins the fray, jiggling the camera around
and frequently shooting the actors from the waist down, or showing a
of limbs when they are in something resembling an orgy. The closest the
director gets into any kind of style is when he rips off A Hard
Night and has the characters (who are running on a beach)
appearing in a very green park full of trees, in fast motion, and
behind a tree and peeking their heads out. Besides this scene, the
only leaves us to wonder about things like why the director felt a
would keep spaghetti sauce in garbage cans, though only when the camera
isn't looking into the sun and blinding us, or the lens not obscured by
drops of water for minutes on end on the camera lens. This bad
makes me also want to advise those prone to seasickness to take
should they want to brave this movie's waters.
You have to wonder if the director simply gave up from
the start. I'd
surely be tempted to if I was given this project to helm. There really
isn't anything to work on here. The characters? All four girls are
the same, totally obsessed by sex and showing no intelligence or
of any kind. They really just seem to live completely and only for sex.
Near the end of the film, when one of the four sex-starved girls
that she'll do one of her friends if she doesn't get some action from
boyfriend soon, it doesn't come across as a joke, even though it was
intended as one. Three of the boyfriends are indistinguishable from
other, with not even the fat character given stereotypical behavior of
someone of his weight. There is a feeble attempt with the fourth
to make some kind of character. He is named "Fenzi", and he is
supposed to be some kind of parody of Fonzi from Happy Days.
his character is given nothing to do but say the occasional line like,
"Fenz needs another beer!" and "Fenzi's chicks screwing off! Ayyyyyy!"
The only real attempt to satirize Fonzi is when Fenzi bike turns out
to be a motorbike but a bicycle - curiously, the same kind of gag that
was used in Hey! There Are Naked Bodies On
I question if any young people renting this today will
get this "Fenzi"
joke. Maybe, but there are several other 70s references in this movie
not only date this movie, but will leave them scratching their heads. I
know about Frasier the lion, but I doubt anyone my age or younger does.
I am certain, however, that even those in their teen years will find
level of humor in this movie as unfunny as I found it. Come on, do you
really think teenagers will laugh at a French teacher with the name
Crotch"? Or laugh at one of the girls drinking beer after beer,
since the beer spilled in the scene is obviously water? Though adults
see that the "June East" character is a Mae West-type actress, even
they won't be laughing at lines like, "Why don't you come down and see
The only relief that came during this movie was when the
decided to play a song. Believe it or not, the anonymous singers and
hired to make the songs actually came up with some tunes that, while no
masterpieces, are genuinely pleasant to listen to. You'd have to go
the entire movie to listen to them all, and believe me, it's not worth
it. But do you know what's the most shocking thing about Hollywood
High? It's the fact that four years later, a sequel came out.
means that somehow, this movie made enough money to get this sequel
Though my research on this sequel shows that the actors and the
have changed, I somehow have the feeling nothing improved. Yet at the
time, I'm curious. So if anyone has seen this sequel, please e-mail me
and tell me about it so I won't possibly be put through the kind of
Pandora went through.
Check for availaiblity on Amazon (VHS)
See also: Hot Chili, Hot Resort, Leader Of The