Director: Kirk Douglas
Cast: Kirk Douglas, Mark Lester, Neville Brand

Becoming a part of the Hollywood machine must seem daunting for a lot of people. There is so much competition and back stabbing that for whatever role people venturing into Hollywood try to obtain, they have to both be very careful and extremely savvy. But as you know, there have been a number of times when people manage to succeed in Hollywood and achieve great fame in a certain role. Though even if you manage to get a prime role in Hollywood filmmaking, it takes just as much effort to maintain your position. Because of this, many famous people in Hollywood figure out that it's best to stay in their position and try not to expand their hold in Hollywood. Actors, for one thing, tend to stay as actors throughout their career, and generally refrain from taking on extra responsibilities. Reasons for this range from time being extremely precious and wanting to have enough private time, to not having been fully taught how to take on another prime role. But as you probably know, there have been a number of times when a prominent actor has decided to contribute something to a film project beyond an acting role in it. For example, there was the time back in the 1950s that Henry Fonda decided not only to act in a movie, but felt so passionate about the project that he took on the role as one of the movie's three producers. That movie was 12 Angry Men, a movie that today is considered a classic. Although Fonda did think highly enough of the finished film to consider it one of the three best movies he had been in, he never tried to act as a producer again, since he found the responsibilities of being a producer extremely frustrating.

Another way actors have added something extra to a movie is with music. While it may be kind of a stretch to label musician Prince as an actor, when he made his acting debut in the movie Purple Rain, he contributed several songs to the soundtrack. And going way back in time to the silent film era, actor Lon Chaney in the horror movies he appeared in often used his skill in makeup to make his characters look more terrifying. But probably the most thought of examples of a movie star taking more than one role on a movie is when they also act as director. This has happened on occasion ever since the silent film era, such as with Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin, and still happens today with people such as Clint Eastwood. The main reason that a movie sometimes has the lead actor also act as a director is usually creative control. But there can be other reasons as well. For example, Eastwood once said that in his early movies as an actor only, he was so irked about the fact that time and production costs often went so out of control, he wanted to direct so he could have his movies come in under time and budget. There have been some interesting stories over the years about famous actors directing themselves. When the aforementioned Clint Eastwood replaced director Philip Kaufman as director in the middle of the shoot for The Outlaw Josey Wales, the directors' guild soon after passed a new rule that if a director was to be replaced during filming, no cast or crewmember still remaining on the movie could be the replacement. Also, after George C. Scott directed himself in the revenge saga Rage, he later explained the movie's box office disappointment due to him feeling that upon taking on two roles, he didn't have enough time to think and plan thorougly on both roles.

As you may have guessed, the movie I am reviewing here - Scalawag - is another example of a big star directing himself in a movie, the star in this case being the legendary Kirk Douglas (Spartacus). The behind the scenes stories of the movie are pretty interesting. The aging Douglas in the early '70s was starting to find that new acting roles (especially those that were good) were drying up for him. So to keep working, he decided to make his own movie, and set off to direct this new movie as well as star in it. (He also contributed some material to the script.) With the support of some foreign investment, plus the help of several members of his family - wife Anne acting as a producer, one son being a stills photographer, and another son being an office boy - Douglas leapt enthusiastically into this project with the belief it would help him make a comeback. Did it? Well, first the plot. In the middle of the 19th century on the coast of California, there are a band of pirates whose one-legged leader is referred to as "Peg" (Kirk Douglas). Though pirates, they don't have their own ship - they simply wait near the shore where ships occasionally come to dock, and then sneak aboard them to raid their valuables. They are especially pleased early in the movie when they take over a ship that is packed with gold coins. Afterwards, while Peg are fleeing from the scene inland and an enemy force starts to close in, he commands one of his pirates, Brimstone (Neville Brand, Psychic Killer) to take off with the treasure with a few other men and hide it inland. Peg as well as his remaining pirates (including the twin brother of the thief, also played by Brand) don't know for a long time that Brimstone kills his companions after the treasure is hidden. When they do, the set off in hot pursuit. They eventually stumble upon a tavern run by Lucy Ann (Lesley-Anne Down, Death Wish V) and her young brother Jamie (Mark Lester, Oliver!). Soon everybody, including a friend of the siblings named Aragon (George Eastman, Rabid Dogs) knows where the gold has been hidden, and sets off to find it.

Scalawag was one of two movies Douglas directed in his career, the other being the 1975 western Posse, which he also starred in. Since it's very likely you are familiar with Douglas' acting performances from various movies, I'll put a hold for now on looking at this particular performance of his so I can first satisfy your probable greater curiosity of his direction. To make it short, it's a mess. If that doesn't satisfy you, I will first mention that the entire movie looks very unattractive. The outdoor locations, shot in Yugoslavia (perhaps as a way to reduce costs), are almost all completely dry and drab, lacking in any spectacle or any other kind of positive atmosphere. The various set dressings come across as if they had just been dumped in front of the camera a few seconds before Douglas shouted, "Action!" And when the camera started to roll and film the cheap desolation, Douglas at times didn't seem to know how to use the camera. Sometimes the camera jiggles a little for no reason at all, sometimes the camera pans across a scene with a sudden abruptness, and there are also moments when there are slight zooms in or out that seem purposeless. Entire scenes are also badly handled. There are a few moments when the characters get into gun battles, but it's difficult to tell who is who and how the gun battle is progressing. And the movie as a whole has a really inappropriate feel to it. While the movie is ostensibly about pirates and the search for gold, it instead feels more like a spaghetti western, albeit one done on a lower budget and with less passion than usual.

That lack of passion that I just mentioned brings me to a big problem with Scalawag - maybe its biggest problem. The movie simply isn't exciting or involving at all. The quest for a treasure of gold should have generated feelings of struggle, desperation, excitement, something big in the air. Instead, there is a real casual feeling, as if the characters aren't terribly concerned if they will prevail in their quest or not. Families who watch this "G" rated movie will be bored regardless of their age. That is, when their eyebrows are not being raised by seeing a considerable amount of people shot or stabbed, a chicken getting its neck snapped, rocks thrown at sheep, nude swimming, and what every family movie needs - an attempted rape. In between all of this questionable material, viewers trying to stay awake will probably make a list of other faults with the screenplay. There are a lot of unanswered questions, like why Brimstone's twin brother was killed by the pirates when he didn't have anything to do with the robbery, or why the various characters make the actions they do during the very elongated climax. Also, there is terrible pacing; scenes throughout go on for such an unnecessary amount of time that we have problems like with the gathered characters starting their treasure seeking almost at the movie's halfway point. It doesn't help that the movie doesn't seem to know what genre it should follow. As I illustrated before, the movie is both a pirate story as well as an ersatz spaghetti western. But Douglas throws in another genre, that being the musical genre. There are three times when the already slow action comes to a complete halt so that the characters can belt out musical numbers that are sour sounding and awkward, as well as bringing nothing into the narrative except as chances to extend the running time further.

As you can see, Douglas the director was pretty much unable to give Scalawag anything really positive while behind the camera. How about Douglas the actor? Well, unfortunately this isn't one of his better performances, mainly because he acts in an inappropriate manner. To be fair, he doesn't try to imitate Robert Newton's legendary performance in the classic 1950 Disney movie Treasure Island. However, his performance suffers because he chose to act in a relatively theatrical style. This might have been okay on the stage, but is completely wrong for a theatrical movie, at least this one. It just doesn't feel right in this particular world; it instead feels unnatural and forced. Maybe taking on three roles in this movie gave him less time to polish his performance, but he might have also been hampered by the fact that his character is written very thinly. Where did Peg come from? Why does he do what he does? What are his ultimate ambitions? These questions are not really answered in any sufficient way. As it turns out, most of the other actors in Scalawag find themselves in the same boat. For example, Lesley-Ann Down's character is dragged throughout the movie, yet this character never says anything or does anything that makes the slightest difference to the story or the characters. It would take no effort to remove this character from the script. The only character that sparks any interest is a pirate who is played by none other than Danny DeVito (Relative Strangers). He's almost unrecognizable - I had to identify him by his voice because in this movie he looked like Bob Dylan - but he shows a little goofy charm. Alas, it's just a minor role, so there then isn't any reason why you should be compelled to seek out Scalawag. Apparently, Douglas himself thought the end results were a big boo-boo to his career as well. But he must have learned something from the experience, since two years later he directed and starred in the aforementioned western Posse, which was much better done. That is a movie definitely worth watching. As for Scalawag, if you should find it, promptly bury it in the nearest dead man's chest.

(Posted October 31, 2022)