Director: Kunt Tulgar
Cast: Tayfun Demir, Gungor Bayrak, Yildirim Gencer

Although they have been popular for many decades, I think it's safe to say that the 21st century is definitely the age of superheroes. More than ever, if you go to your local comic book store, you will see an incredible number of new comic books dealing with superheroes. Not just superhero comic books from DC Comics and Marvel, but from a whole slew of independent firms. This golden age of superheroes isn't just confined to the printed page. DC Comics (through their owner Warner Brothers) and Marvel (with the support of their owner Disney) have been cranking out one superhero movie after another, and they have also placed some of their superheroes on television and streaming. There seems to be no better time to showcase a superhero, and you might be wondering what I think about all this. Well, to be honest, my feelings are mixed about this onslaught. A lot of the recent superhero movies and television shows have been fun to watch, but the absolute glut of them is started to make me feel pretty weary. As well, there is the simple fact that some superheroes do not hold any appeal to me. On one hand, I've always had some sort of fondness to Spider-Man, because this superhero has always found life to be quite difficult both as a superhero and with his life of being Peter Parker. This seems like a more realistic approach to the whole superhero idea. On the other hand, there are some superheroes that I just can't stand. The superheroes that make me cringe the most are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I admit that their original comics (which were aimed at adults) were okay, but their subsequent reincarnations into more family-friendly characters seem so brain dead and jokey that I feel that my intelligence is being insulted and drained as they go through their "Whoa, dude!" attitude.

Batman is tolerable to me, because he is a self-taught hero who often relies on his intelligence and skills to get him through a scrape, though whenever he gets his hands on a fancy gadget, I feel that the writers are going a bit too far. Then there is Superman. What do I think about one of the longest running superheroes? Well, my feelings are kind of mixed. I do admire that this character fights for good and solid values, never gives up in his pursuit of justice, and does his best to remain humble, especially when he plays the role of Clark Kent. But on the other hand, his abilities over the decades were slowly but surely increased to an incredible and unbelievable degree. For example, when Superman first made his debut in comic books, he didn't have the ability to fly. Then when master animator Max Fleischer got the rights to made Superman cartoons, he added the ability to fly to the popular hero. And from that point on, things really started to run riot. He got the ability to shoot lasers from his eyes, he was able to push an entire planet without breaking a sweat, and he (and his costume, for that matter) could survive atomic blasts. The problem with all this is that if you make your hero too powerful, it makes it very difficult for readers or viewers to sense the hero struggling, and that makes it impossible to get involved in the adventure. True, Kryptonite was eventually introduced, and a few decades ago in the comic books, Superman was rebooted so he wasn't as powerful as before. While I did welcome this, I still got the feeling that Superman was too powerful for his own good, and as a result I just don't get much of an urge to read a Superman comic book or watch a Superman movie.

So when there is a chance to make Superman look silly, more often than not I take that opportunity to see it. MAD Magazine certainly did it a lot of times, not just for the fact that they were also owned by Warner Brothers. There have also been plenty of comedy sketches on television over the years poking fun at the man with the red cape. But one of my favorite skewerings of the proud superhero was years ago when I reviewed the movie (Indian) Superman. An unabashed (and copyright infringing) rip-off of the property, the movie was so incredibly inept that I had a great time laughing at it. I still have fond memories of the movie years later. That's why when I got the chance to watch Turkish Superman, I eagerly connected to YouTube so that I might possibly repeat the hilariously magical time I had years earlier. In fact, I knew I would definitely be in for a treat just from the few first seconds of the movie. What we first see in the movie is outer space, full of planets and starts. However, the blackness of space is accomplished by a black sheet covering a wall, and hanging from visible strings are Christmas tree ornaments that have been painted silver and are moving around in their place. A narrator speaks, starting off by saying: "In this universe there are millions, even billions of stars." I guess a few hundred million stars here and there leaves margin for error. As the movie focuses in on one round ornament, he says, "Once upon a time, the brightest amongst them was Krypton." I thought in Superman lore, Krypton was a planet, but never mind. The narrator goes on to say what you probably already know, Krypton having an advanced civilization, Krypton blowing up just after they sent "a living example of their species", etc. Yes, that's right - we just hear this and not see this. Talk about a low budget.

The opening credits then start up, showing the Superman logo and the John Williams' score for the original Superman movie - all I am sure without permission. Though the music then abruptly changes its music, and I am sure whatever new music this was was obtained without permission too. The credits are listed, and one of the supporting players is listed as having the last name "Cokseker". Later in the credits, the director's name is listed, and he has the first name "Kunt". Well, this sort of thing happens occasionally - just ask a Greek friend what Greece calls American actor Charton Heston, and why. (Or you can do a quick Internet search.) Then when the credits end, we see a Clark Kent type of man walk into a house in the countryside, where his mother (calling her son "Tayfun") lives. Mother is cooking, and Tayfun looks at the food with eagerness and through the shoddy subtitles says, "It smells great. I feel like starving." Tayfun then learns his father is ill, so he goes to his father's room, opening an office-like door (with a top frosted glass panel) to get in. Tayfun talks to his father, and we learn that he's just finished school (it seems looking at him that schools in Turkey go up to at least the 22nd grade), and that his father has a secret to tell him. No need, indicates Tayfun - he's just read his father's mind ("You've read my mind, as always.") Despite this, Tayfun's father after the arrival of Tayfun's mother decides to tell Tayfun the secret. Very quickly and in a matter of fact manner, they reveal that Tayfun is not their real son, and they found him in a rocket ship in their garden one day that also contained a green stone piece. Tayfun's mother then retrieves the green stone while Tayfun sits silently with no questions to ask his parents.

Later, alone in his room with the stone, the stone starts talking to Tayfun, telling him that he will guide him, and calls him "son". Tayfun takes this with stride, and immediately packs his suitcase, jamming all his clothes haphazardly to make sure he'll have a wrinkled appearance wherever he's going. After spending a few seconds to say farewell to his parents, Tayfun gets going. Then very abruptly, he finds himself at the entrance of a big cave system, seemingly in that place in Turkey where you can also find rock formations that look like giant erect penises (no joke.) Exploring the cave while snatches of John Williams music play, Tayfun hears the mysterious stone telling him to throw the green stone forward. After doing so, there is an explosion, and then a figure appears saying "I am Superman, the leader of Krypton!... You are my son, the last of the Supermen.... [Superman] is you, my son!" While we are trying to figure all that out, the figure tells Tayfun that he has "...the genious [sic] of King Solomon, Hercules' might, Atlas' patience - " hey, wait, isn't he describing Shazam? Well, that character eventually became a DC Comics' property like Superman. The figure then tells Tayfun that as long as the green stone is near Tayfun, Tayfun won't be able to use his powers, and whoever has the stone can defeat Tayfun. Without another word, the figure disappears in a puff of smoke, and all of a sudden Tayfun is dressed as the Superman we know very well. Actually, the costume here doesn't look bad, but when Tayfun exits the cave and starts flying, the effects are extremely bad. Superman's flying looks like it was mostly accomplished by a Superman doll hanging on strings and being blown softly with a fan while projected on the background is some very bad-looking aerial footage. It's even worse to see than it sounds.

Then the movie abruptly cuts to a television reporter talking about one Professor Hetin El returning from some sort of investigation trip, and then immediately cuts to people disembarking from a jetliner while "happy parade" music plays in the background. The reporter suddenly talks up during this to say that the professor and his assistances have found "a unique meteor stone" that was from the planet Krypton that disintegrated seven years earlier. Huh? How did humans come up with the same name for Krypton as the Kryptorians did? The reporter then ends by saying that it's felt the stone could be used as a great power source. Two men in another location are then seen switching off their television, and discuss a new machine in their hands that can use the Krypton stone. How did they manage to make the machine without any access or knowledge to the stone? Don't ask me. It's then revealed that with the Krypton stone in the machine, it would be able to shoot a ray that could turn metal into gold. One of the two men, a man named Haydar, knows immediately that the other man (his boss) needs him to steal the stone. Once Haydar leaves, we then go to see how Tayfun is doing. Already he has got a journalist job at some Turkish rag outfit. Talking to this movie's Lois Lane character (named Alev), we quickly find out that Alev is the daughter of the professor, and that the professor is the only one who knows the formula for the Krypton stone. After Alev leaves, Tayfun outsources his duties by calling another reporter (named Naci) and asking him to follow Alev, promising Naci that he will finish his ongoing article about lubricants. No comment.

Haydar is then seen returning to his boss, and the boss tells Haydar that he got some information from a friend about the Krypton stone formula, and it's just a matter of time since the boss is part of the professor's investigation committee. It's then established that they know that some parts of the formula are hidden the professor's country house, so Haydar then splits in order to get it, also knowing that Alev will soon arrive there. Meanwhile Tayfun is busy typing out something at the office, using his telepathic powers to manipulate the keys on his typewriter. Huh? Well, Superman did something similar in Superman IV when he got to The Great Wall Of China. And while that's going on, Alev starts her car journey to her father's house while being pursued by a dump truck, both vehicles rolling around at a v-e-r-y slow speed. Soon Alev gets to a roadblock consisting of a big truck with its back door open, and two planks of wood leading from the back to the ground below. Obviously, the kidnappers want to put Alev and her car in that truck, but I don't know why they thought the planks wouldn't break in the process. Well, somehow they do (while a snatch of music from a James Bond movie plays), but the editing and camera angles used sure make it look like they are implying they did it. Soon the kidnappers are on the run, though Naci pursues them in his own vehicle. After a while, Naci pulls off the road and calls Tayfun - who for some reason now is actually using his hands on his typewriter. When Tayfun gets the message that Alev is missing, he knows it's time for him to act, so he runs into the hallway and pulls apart his shirt to reveal the classic "S" logo.

Right after that, we see Alev in her car that's in the truck, and she looks extremely drugged and lethargic. But when one of the kidnappers confronts her, she suddenly snaps alert. The kidnappers look in her purse and for some reason find the formula information there. Having reached their goal, they tell Alev that they'll "incubate" her now. What follows seems to suggest that to Turks, the idea of incubating someone is to tie them up inside a truck and then let the emergency break of the truck go so that the truck will roll down a steep road. Not to worry - Tayfun as Superman flies to the area with special effects just as bad as before, gets inside the cab of the truck, and brings it to a halt. After untying Alev and carrying her out, Alev wakes up suddenly from another stupor and sees her savior. After she thanks him and he tells her he's called Superman, and when seconds later he flies away, Alev becomes comatose for a third time and faints. Some time later, Alev, her father, and the rest of the committee (including the bad guy, who we learn is named Ekrem) discuss things, including that they feel the Krypton stone is safely locked away in a local museum. Then we go back to Tayfun and Naci in the office, where Superman out of the blue decides to use his x-ray vision on a woman walking down the hall, making him able to see the woman's undergarments. Pervert. Back with Ekrem and Hadar, Ekrem muses upon getting the formula papers that were stolen from Alev, "I need all the formulas to be the richest and most powerful man on Earth. When all's completed, I'll have an infinite fortune." But they both know that Alev was not killed despite their plans, and they will have to make plans for this Superman that saved her.

The next thing Ekrem and his men do is kidnap the professor as soon as he steps out of the museum. As expected, Ekrem's men call Alev at her workplace and tell her to get the stone if she doesn't want her father killed. Why the kidnappers didn't do this in the first place - they could also have got the formula from her at the same time - I cannot say. While they are talking on the phone, Tayfun uses his super hearing to eavesdrop on the conversation. But it turns out to be redundant, because after the call Alev tells Tayfun and Naci about the kidnapping and what she must do. Tayfun volunteers to investigate the problem and leaves. Meantime, the kidnappers in some sort of lumberyard threaten the professor to put him on one of the yard's conveyer belts that leads to a guillotine. Superman then suddenly bursts through a few flimsy pieces of wood blocking a doorway in the lumberyard, though how he knew this was where the professor was being held is never answered. Freeing the professor and telling him to drive away in a nearby car, Superman faces the gun and knife wielding kidnappers and makes work of them in some of the worst fight choreography you can think of. During the fight, Superman gets... well... electrocuted, I think. It's hard to say what exactly happens thanks to the inept direction and editing, but right afterwards an unconscious Superman is on the conveyer belt and heading to the guillotine. At this sight, the kidnappers, somehow having recovered completely and quickly from Superman's blows, decide it's okay to leave, even though they saw moments before Superman proving invulnerable to bullets and knives.

Don't worry, Superman manages to get out of that trap. What happens in the second half of the movie? I don't really want to spoil any more of the movie, except to say that there is more awful dialogue, more cribbing music from John Williams' Superman score and from other sources (including Midnight Express!), more plot points that suddenly change from what was established earlier, more kidnapping (three more, technically! Maybe even a fourth one, if you look at it at a certain angle), more previous unknown powers of Superman appearing, more unintentionally funny fight sequences, and a lot of other things that will tickle viewers who are really into so-bad-it's-good cinema. I think the key reason why this movie really delivers the unintentional laughs is that it was made with sincerity. You can tell that the filmmakers and cast weren't trying to joke around in any way for the most part. All the same, these people clearly lacked an ability to see what they were doing was truly misguided, and sometimes downright insane. The combination of these two things is what makes movies like Turkish Superman a great deal of fun to watch. It could in other words be described as Turkish delight. After watching this movie, I hope that I can track down more Turkish movies that attempt to plagiarize American movies despite having very limited money, and very little clear thinking for that matter. I have a very strong feeling that these movies will someday be considered by major movie scholars as "turkeys", for more than one reason of course.

(Posted June 7, 2025)